Students often struggle integrating supporting source material into their arguments. Following is an example of a student working through multiple drafts.

Failing to Integrate Source Material: Misusing a Source by Misrepresentation

The student writes about his own experiences but documents them as if they were Daum’s experiences. What he really means is that his experiences are parallel to Daum’s, but he does not explain that. His citation for Boorstin also seems to be his own experience rather than a supporting argument from Boorstin.

I have had people contact me online before. One woman knew a friend of mine and wanted to know if I was interested in dating her (Daum 302). We talked online for awhile, sending e-mails back and forth, and eventually, she called me on the phone (Daum 303). We got to know each other, so finally we decided to meet, but our date did not go well (Daum 305-306). Eventually, we stopped contacting each other (Daum 310). People have to be careful when communicating with other people on the internet because it may not work out, and some people can even be rude (Boorstin 425).

Sample Revision #1: Incomplete Integration of Source Material

While technology has given people more opportunity for meeting others, people have to realize that meeting someone on the Internet is not the same as meeting someone physically. I was emailed by a woman who knew a friend of mine and wanted to know if I was interested in dating. We talked online for awhile, sending e-mails back and forth, and eventually, she called me on the phone. Despite how well we got to know each other online, our date did not go well, and we stopped contacting each other. Daum was contacted by someone with the email name PFSlider who had read her articles (Daum 302). They began a correspondence and became so involved that they were writing to each other every day (Daum 305) and even talked on the phone (Daum 303). But when they finally met, Daum found she did not have any feelings for him (Daum 306). Eventually, they stopped writing each other (Daum 310). Fortunately for me and for Daum, our relationships ended amicably. But some people can become rude or even violent. It is as if the anonymity of the Internet gives people a license to say things they normally would not say. Boorstin argues that communication has lost touch with good manners. While the Internet may make it easy for people to say whatever is on their minds, people should exercise “self-control in keeping ourselves from saying what we really feel and really want to say, but which might hurt others” (Boorstin 275).

While this paragraph is an improvement, it still does not integrate the material. A reader would be confused: Who is Daum? Who is Boorstin? Why are they in this paragraph?

Revision #2: Integrating Source Material

While technology has given people more opportunity for meeting others, people have to realize that meeting someone on the Internet is not the same as meeting someone physically. I was emailed by a woman who knew a friend of mine and wanted to know if I was interested in dating. We talked online for awhile, sending e-mails back and forth, and eventually, she called me on the phone. Despite how well we got to know each other online, our date did not go well, and we stopped contacting each other. In her article “Virtual Love,” Meghan Daum describes a similar situation. A writer, Daum was contacted by someone with the email name PFSlider who had read her articles (Daum 302). They began a correspondence and became so involved that they were writing to each other every day (Daum 305) and even talked on the phone (Daum 303). But when they finally met, Daum found she did not have any feelings for him (Daum 306). Eventually, they stopped writing each other (Daum 310). Fortunately for me and for Daum, our relationships ended amicably. But some people can become rude or even violent. It is as if the anonymity of the Internet gives people a license to say things they normally would not say. In his article “Overcommunication: Are We Talking Too Much?” Daniel Boorstin argues that communication has lost touch with good manners. While the Internet may make it easy for people to say whatever is on their minds, Boorstin would remind people that they should exercise “self-control in keeping [themselves] from saying what [they] really feel and really want to say, but which might hurt others” (Boorstin 425).

Notice how the source material is introduced and its connection to the topic at hand is established before the example from the source is given.

Works Cited

Boorstin, Daniel J. "Overcommunication: Are We Talking Too Much?" Portz 424-429.

Daum, Meghan.  "Virtual Love." Portz 302-312.

Portz, Jessica, ed.  Writing on the River. 2nd ed.  Boston: McGraw Hill, 2009. Print.