Courtly Love

Glastonbury Abbey, the legendary burial place of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere
Photo by Jennifer Duncan, 2005
1. They must be aristocratic. Courtly love is practiced by lords and ladies (never commoners), and its proper place is the royal palace or the royal court.
2. They are ritualistic, exemplified by the exchanging of gifts. A lady is wooed according to ritualistic rules, given symbolic gifts, and made the constant theme of songs, poems, etc. She need only show a hint of approval or the mere shadow of affection to the man in return for his advances.
3. They are controlled by the lady.
4. They are secret. Lovers pledge strict secrecy which perhaps is the source of its special aura and exoticism in which the rest of the world is excluded. This secret world is a universe composed of rules, codes, and commandments the lovers create.
5. They are adulterous. One of the principle attractions of courtly love is that it offered an escape from the dull routines and boring confinements of noble marriage which was usually little more than a political or economic alliance.
6. They are literary. Before it was established as a real-life activity, courtly love gained attention as a subject and theme in imaginative literature. Nobles and their adored ladies were already popular figures in song and stories before they began spawning a host of real life imitators.